The Green Smoothie Girl Detox

While I felt my health was declining on GAPS, I visited a functional medicine doctor who was very focused on the concept of detoxing. But, the speed at which she rolled out information  I found frustratingly slow, so I started researching home-grown protocols I could try. Enter the Green Smoothie Girl Detox.

Green Smoothie Girl’s website included a lot of principles my naturopath had convinced me were smart (increased leafy greens, the wonders of fermentation, etc) and so I figured this was as good a place as any for me to start.

Having been a professional for many years, I sort of expect professionalism and right from the get-go, it was clear that GSG was having technical difficulties. So, I dropped out of the ‘premium’ version of her plan, and just followed her detox guide for a full 30 days (which is 4 days more than her diet).

It was AWFUL, mostly because her recipes weren’t very good. The green smoothies (which she didn’t provide recipes for) were helpful, though, and I was feeling better general. My husband went on the detox with me. He is the most patient person on earth, and my inspiration for rule-following (something that does not come naturally to me), so we stuck it out. I experienced no flare ups while on her plan, and so while I would never go on it again, I cannot say it didn’t help. It was a step. And while my weight didn’t change (and didn’t need to), my husband lost 20 pounds. And I can thank her because now I can suggest any number of crazy things to my husband (Let’s go on a juice fast! Let’s go AIP! Let’s go on Walhs Paleo Plus!) and he basically says, “As long as it isn’t that Green Smoothie thing, I’m in.”

Now that I eat clean – and I mean super-clean – all the time, I recognize that I am not being a jerk calling her food awful. I probably should have known that before beginning, because I found her attitude strangely reminiscent of high school stereotypes. Not that she isn’t (probably) a perfectly lovely person. She’s just not my style.

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