who is this?

You can call me Lela. I’m married with two kids in adolescence. I’ve been working on naturally healing relatively debilitating autoimmune disease for over a decade. I’ve had various ups and downs, but since I started *slowing* down, things have started to look up. This website is sharing my practice of slowing down. The practice is having wild impact on my life, so it inherently has to include how it is waking me up.

In high school I found a pack of cards with quotes on them, mostly “Carpe Diem” to “When Life Gives You Lemons…” kind of stuff. But one of them said, “The oldest wisdom in the world tells us man can consciously unite with God whilst in the body. For that man is truly born.” That concept was so foreign but so enticing, it became the fascination of my life. So, “Waking Up” has long been my objective.

Slowing Down, on the other hand, is relatively new to me. The concept was abhorrent to my younger self. Speed, efficiency and activism were my values, and I was relatively adept. But, in 2010 I had a serious health crisis.

To say I needed to change to effectuate healing in my life is the epitome of understatement. My habits and self-concept today are so radically different than what I had cultivated during the bulk of my adolescence and adulthood they have little resemblance. But “who I am” is, obviously, the same. In fact, my habits and self-concept have had to evolve to be in harmony with “who I am” in order for the healing to begin. I’m literally re-learning how to stand, to walk, to use my limbs (not because they didn’t work, although that happened sometimes, but because my center was so skewed whole muscle sets turned off) what foods make me feel good and which ones don’t agree with me (or if it is worth what it costs) -everything. I went from efficiency girl to the slowest-paced person I know. Surprisingly, this has also corresponded with a significant deepening in my “waking up” practices. Concepts long held in my mind finally found root in my body, and while this is certainly not the picture I held in my head of what the process would look like, I can only say slowing down and waking up correlate dramatically for me.

I have joked that the disease just required me to actually accomplish my New Year’s Resolutions (better diet, more exercise, more rest, etc), but in ways it is not joking. By design or by choice, and usually somewhat slow on the uptake, I am becoming a more balanced and grounded person with wildly more healthful and sustainable habits. This shift for the better hasn’t always been obvious (for example, vegetarianism was important to me and my concept of my self and my values, and then I went on the AIP meat eating extravaganza and found physical relief). Allowing myself to grow past my perception of myself may specifically be the most important transition of all.

But Slowing Down is my practice and this forum is my practice-sharing. Blog posts are 20 minute spontaneous unedited writings, and Slowing Down practices and perspectives are everywhere else. Teachers and programs propelling my growth are discussed, and the evolution of ever-greater love, freedom and relationship is the goal. The only goal, for me. Any other goal is a sub goal that can be expressed within it (good parenting, etc.)

I am a regular person with regular responsibilities as a wife and mother. I have been fortunate my husband’s salary sustains us and affords me the time and opportunity to pursue healing protocols and develop sustainable self-care. Which means healing from autoimmune disease has been my full-time job for the last decade. Which also means I spend a whole lot of time in the kitchen (though that’s about to change). My energy and body dependability have remarkably improved, and if I employ slowing down practices, during phases of activity they are practically back to ‘normal.’

They tell me sharing your process is what’s called for. Not positioning oneself as a teacher, simply sharing the process. That sounds about my speed. Here it is.

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