My first day of school

Legend has it that on my first day of first grade I burst into tears crying, “I forgot my psychology book!”  Oh, the things we expect of ourselves.

I’ve often expected myself to be further along than I am, condemning my current state as “not enough” and needing to get better. It’s an orientation I am trying to eschew.  This week has been a life-affirming first step.

I’ve participated in dozens of startups. Mapping is one of my skills. I’ve guided lots of folks through planning and R&D for a solid launch. All that went out the window this week. And I’m really, really happy with the results. So happy, in fact, I’m not doing any planning for next week, either. They say 80% is showing up. I’m just going to show up. As I sort out the cadence of a session, I’ll probably let a few more people know. But, finally, I feel like something is coming forth – I’m not trying to build it. That in itself is great relief.

Every day of this experiment has enriched my understanding of what I want to do, what might be possible, how best to serve. I’ve got a lot of learning to do, and I’m thrilled about that. I’m not trying to come off with all the answers. I’m sharing my practice. I didn’t even know what that might mean when I started, but it was such a lovely week this idea is starting to crystallize. I had a ridiculous guided meditation fail last night, and my sweet friend was so sweet about it. That’s part of bodyfulness. “Hey, this feels awful, I’d like to stop!” “OK!” We’re adventurers together seeing where our bodies seem to want to go.

All this to say, I think I’m onto something with this practice-sharing. I’m really excited to see where my body leads me.