doing the work

I think about the evolution of consciousness and the divine nature of life itself All. The. Time. All the time. I think about it the way my brother-in-law thinks about sports. It’s not a hobby or an interest, it is a way of life. Everything relates to it and it is the context through which I perceive and interact with basically everyone and every thing. But no matter how much I think about water, if I’m not drinking it, I’m still gonna be thirsty. The drinking of it, the practices over the philosophy – this is the key.

I have been wrong about a million things in my life. I have been right about several. But I have¬†known even more. The brain thinks, the heart knows. I didn’t really think much about marrying Tucker. In fact, most of my thinking about it had to do with how very very different we are, and how very unlike what I expected he is. Had I listened to my thinking, I have no idea where we’d be.

Spending even a few breaths per day in that place of knowing, the place of being, where my thoughts bear no more importance than the distant sound of traffic, even just a breath or two, is enough to turn philosophy into practice. My thirst is met by clear, cool water. and it is so delicious, I sit again.

i spent a decent portion of my life searching for water. I’d read all about it, I knew it to be true, but I could not find the wellspring. So frustrating! Years and years of it. Years and years of reading and talking and wanting and frankly, feeling entitled ¬†(it’s our divine birthright, they told me!) and never imagining it literally resided in this body and silence was the threshold.

Anyone who knows me knows how difficult silence is for me. Perhaps that’s why it took so long. That and a thousand other reasons, but none of them matter. This isn’t something we aspire to… it is a choice we make in the present moment. If we’re aspiring to it, it’s in the future, we have to change.

Weirdly enough, we do not have to change. the world does not have to change. we need to breathe. bonus experience for smiling. how crazy is it that THAT is the work?

Of course, there is other work. Being present to the things we’d rather cast aside. Recognizing the divinity in others, their right to be exactly as they are (Swami Vivekananda said something like: “you can think you’re the most spectacular person in the world, as long as you think everyone else is, too”), recognizing the divinity everywhere … the thing is, these things are done through the sitting and breathing (without all that meaning being attached to the thoughts, without taking the bait of every perceived imperfection).

I’m most excited about the habit of attuning to difficult situations in the way Paul Selig’s books suggest: attuning to the truth, whether the ego can understand it or not. An inner acknowledgment that anything you can see is Life Itself expressing and that is far beyond our meager judgments. Opening to the possibility often is enough to catch a glimmer that it might be true. Freedom really is right here, if we just peeled away all the junk we’ve piled onto it.

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