proprioception

That word came up twice today. two radically different sources. how weird is that? It has to do with our ability to know where our bodies are in space, our orientation and position. Most of the time, most of us have a sense of ourselves in relation to our environment.

and while that is hugely relevant, it’s not what i want to write about. i want to write about receiving. about receptivity. about openness.

i have definitely walked through life with a whole lot of “I’m fine, thank you” to most people’s advice, most of the time. I had styles of dealing with things that I liked, i can do this/figure this out on my own… I had a boss once that always said, “No” no matter what you pitched or how she felt about it. so you had to be able to listen past the no, because that was just a reflex for her – not her actual answer. anyhow, i just realized today a whole layer of closedness in a rather large swath of my life. That’s good, noticing is the first step.  And truly, I want all of my answers to bubble up from inside myself, but I also know God is expressing everywhere and I want to be open in relationship  to that … fully embodying and whole within myself, in relationship to the echoes of Life’s love for me (all of life), listening and intoning with all we have the privilege to encounter. Because it’s all a privilege.

It’s served me. I’ve gotten very quiet and paying attention to a cellular level which i couldn’t have gotten if i was chasing people’s advice (and i was as much as i wasn’t, as per above)… and I see how I am in my infancy of learning how to listen… but it is the most beautiful transmission when i can relax into it deeply. so my body’s gotten me to have to pay attention and I am doing my best.

But beginning with Tara Brach’s solstice talk, with illness and wellness beginning with “i” and “we” respectively… that’s powerful stuff. and i’ve known for years that the “we” space is where evolution happens, but it has to be a bunch of “we” people who’ve done the “i” work (or does it? there are as many roads to God as there are human hearts)… I want to celebrate the “we” space in a new way this year, and provide soft loam for all who enter here…

i have my insecurities and doubts, but I have to give them up because it’s not about a personal agenda anymore. it’s this collective agenda. Honoring, celebrating, all of Life.  this love-in that we will certainly be flawed in creating (humans make mistakes – but more importantly learn from them and adapt) but lets not have that stop us… being pointed in the direction of evolving the species towards greater love, freedom and relationship – the way we’re pointed makes all the difference! Flawed attempts or not, directional progress comes from trying and innovating. and often innovation comes from collaboration and really listening to each other. not defensively. not with “how does what you are saying fit into my world view?” but just with listening. not defending a history and identity but being open to what we are creating together with each encounter…

That’s a big deal. i want to be in that space

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *