so often the thought train is trying to convince us of 1,000 different problems, all needing to be fixed, most impossible. It’s a lot of stress. it’s a lot of strain. J. Krishnamurti said something like: the difference between us is that I’m ok with what’s going on.
Most of the stories the mind gets caught up in are patently false. Ramblings, really. SAT Prep tests. just checking the emergency thought system…
of course, the brain releases the same chemicals for a real tiger and an imagined tiger. so all those stress hormones of all of the pretend problems my mind is pitching me for contemplation – – totally unnecessary.
and the great thing about hip replacement is that you can slow. way. down. to notice that stuff. answer every question for the next several weeks with some variation on : how can i release tension and listen to the body. That is a luxury. And, what’s more, it’s more true than any of those thoughts passing through.
So regardless of what comes up, pain or mental meandering, I’ve got this window of time to press the reset button via going deeper into the body and getting curious and relaxed. The relaxation may be enabled by the percoset at this point, but the direction of the recovery is certain. I’m not wnting to get back to anything, i’m moving forward into a deeper level of stability, listening, strength and connection. I’m not sure what it looks like. I suck at a lot of my exercises. Then i relax. My mind pitched me “you’ve wasted your life and everything you think you know is a lie” today. it was almost comical. because the great thing about having evolution be your only goal, recognition of Mother Everywhere – I can be like, sure! tell me about this new way! I don’t need to be ruled by my opinions of the past!” Definitely part of the Paul Selig current work. And probably part percoset, too. But really valid stuff. And the answer is always the same. Relax. What’s New?
I’ve moved from a tablet every 4 hours to one every 5. I’d like to get to 6 tomorrow and 8 by friday. And my hourly “get up and move” can be stronger now. Holding my exercises a little longer, putting more weight on my leg when i walk. Walking that line between discomfort and pain. Moving with intention for optimal execution, not just the limited range that used to be available. Being willing (delighted) to break past the old pattern and embrace the face that to my mind I have a lot of healing to do, but to my hip – well, there’s also a lot of healing to do – but it is healing that yeilds improvement. That’s a big deal to me. I’m sortof used to pain being flare-up then returning to the regular flawed options. This time, I have the real opportunity to heal for improved experience. that’s exciting.