America the Beautiful

I struggle with the political climate of the world right now. I struggle with war, traffiking, exploitation, marginalization and systemic oppression. What a privilege. What a privilege to have choice. To see these things and believe that they don’t need to be a part of life and relationship. The truth is for an enormous portion of human civilization, crazy, narcissistic, indulgent assholes have been in charge by force. Then, just for this little glimpse of the last few hundred years, every once in a while a statesman showed up, caring for others in addition to or even (gasp) above his own interest (and even more recently above *her* own interests, another exceptional development). It’s certainly not a style of governance that has been on a constant trajectory towards equality and equity but it certainly is a start, and even amidst the ebbs and flows of just and noble governance, we have the choice to keep the faith and put in the work to build the world we want. That’s a really big deal.

I’m super lucky right now in that I can see all of the tumult of the outside world within myself and I have the time and inclination to address it. To address and recontextualize, to face down the inner demons and nurture the macro-self, the part of me connected to all of life, every one of my fellow beings. This is probably a life-long endeavor, ever unraveling deeper layers of dysfunction and offering opportunities for equanimity and peace. I desperately wanted to “fix” it, get rid of my bad parts and become some shining beacon of light. I searched for “the answer” and tried to implement more “answers” than you could shake a proverbial stick at, if you had one. I’m happy to be off of that particular merry-go-round. It was very popular with the judgy, strident part of myself that I’m prefering to relegate to the back seat.

I had a situation a few weeks ago that brought out some Kali energy. Kali. She is a bamf. She literally eats demons in a single bite. Unless she feels like making it several slow painful bites. Totally up to her.

She is an aspect of the goddess that comes out in the cosmology when things are profoundly out of alignment with truth. She is *really* into truth. and she is ruthless. and, in her ruthlessness she rebalances the world. But to your average observer, she’s a maniacal nut-job. Good thing we’re not average observers.

Kali is responsible for several key re-balancings of history according to the accounts of Hindu cosmology I’ve read (there are so many versions!). And when she’s eaten all of the demons and she’s on a rampage and it’s time to stop, Shiva himself lays down at her feet. He *is* truth, and so she cannot rampage on or past him. When he makes himself vulnerable to her, the rampage ends and the world goes on in it’s renewed balance.

Imagine if Kali took other people’s opinions of her behavior personally. “That’s not very goddess-like, missy” or “a real goddess would’ve found a non-violent way to end this madness” or “you should leave the heavy lifting to the gods” (spoiler alert: the gods already lost, that’s why Kali manifested). According to legend, without her and her wholehearted badassery, the demons would be completely in charge of this and every other realm. But, if she doubted herself, if she got caught up in how she was being perceived – she couldn’t change her shoes, much less restore balance to the world.

And so we move on, sometimes we are Kali and sometimes we are eaten by her. But, when the shit gets crazy, there’s a little part of me that knows that her energy cannot be stopped, that it comes when it’s needed, and that she is part of a strength and love that nothing can subdue, no matter how crazy, how powerful or how sentimental.

It’s going to be interesting…

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