One of my favorite and most important practices is called MAP and is a part of Perelandra. I need to do a post about it one day. But today, I’m just taking a piece. When I do a MAP session (called a “coning”), it focuses on four aspects of health: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual. PEMS. I like it.

Yesterday I charted out what parts of PEMS are active to what degree in my life. Now, 5 years ago, earlier adulthood and childhood. I don’t feel like making a power point about it, so I’ll just describe it… Oh, geez. Now that I said that, I’m going to have to do it.

As a child from about 7, around the time I remember learning that I could not pay attention to my teacher, I could fantasize. It would let me leave the classroom and enter my imagination. By that time, I’d grown uncomfortable in my body (not being particularly athletic or coordinated) and already begun suppressing emotions due to difficult home conditions (standard stuff of being in a big family, for the most part, although that is also when my father was diagnosed with cancer). I give myself high capacity in spirituality because it is when I clearly remember 1) imagining that if everyone on earth held hands, what was in the center was god. and 2) that there might be a different planet for every option, and when I had to have PB&J when I wanted pizza, at least on some other planet maybe I got the pizza. So I was thinking about this stuff from a pretty early period…

Physical: 20% embodiment

Emotional: 30% embodiment

Mental: 90% embodiment

Spiritual: 50% embodiment

As I reached adulthood, I really got good at suppressing emotion. I also was really annoyed at my body, feeling it was just something to get my mind from place to place. My brain was still in high gear, though, and my spiritual reprieve my best escape…

Physical: 15% embodiment

Emotional: 15% embodiment

Mental: 95% embodiment

Spiritual: 60% embodiment

And then I got sick. Now, I was going to have to get into my body. And emotions. and quit with all of the rationalizing and defensiveness. And figure out what God might be trying to tell me….

Physical: 30%

Emotional: 60%

Mental: 85%

Spiritual: 70%

This helped very much. Even though i really sucked at it at the beginning. Now it has morphed quite a bit, and I would like to really explore my optimal ratio – but this one has more well-being than any of the 3 previous arrangements. Now it feels like this:

Physical: 80%. I am really learning to be in my body and listen to it and translate or intuit it’s needs.

Emotional: 50% After ramping up emotional capacity, I’ve developed enough strategies to process emotions, they feel pretty balanced and not suppressed or hijacking things…

Mental: 60% – I would like this number even lower. I’d really like this number to be 20% or something – where I’m typically in no-mind, but when executive function needs to pop in, it wakes up, does it’s thing, and resigns.

Spiritual: 90% – by no means am I 90% of the way “there” but my spiritual interests take up 90% of my time, and/or as 90% of the lens through which I am looking… I would guess I am around 3% of the way “there” but no matter. It is by far my favorite lens through which to interpret life.

Ideally, I want to be 100% spiritual and 100% physical, with a broad, balanced emotional capacity and mostly transcendence of the “thought stream”/mental body except when it’s actually important. Which is an eff of a lot less than my mind would like me to believe.


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