willingness

the thought stream can be so compelling. the stories it tells are custom designed to captivate our attention, receive our focus for rides through familiarity. different takes on life, commentary, perspectives. i spend so much time in my head, analyzing life, assessing my progress or to do list. just the little bit of time focused on being in the body can unplug all of that in an instant. When I go too long without Tai Chi or standing meditation, or other body-based experiential (oh, i just started reading a book talking about “inspirience” which i just love), when i am up in my head too much i have a thousand things to navigate. when i am in my body, i can sense life navigating me. i like that much better.

Be here now. Here, inhabiting this body, receiving the unfolding of this moment in whatever place this is, with whomever accompanies us. this can be cause for endless curiosity and an open embrace of life. why do we experience anything else? Humanness, maybe. OK. we did not create ourselves, so I’m trusting whatever intelligence is expressing as us to have done a fine job putting us together. we have plenty of choices to make and I want to make my choices embracing evolution, the natural progression to greater love, freedom and relationship.

But then I start getting all past and future oriented. I tell myself stories about my worth and what the world thinks of me. I tell myself stories of my failure or my grandeur, my honest mistakes and my less noble ones. the choices i’m proud of, the ones i’m curious about, the ones i fear…

But they’re all just stories!

David Hawkins wrote something that I distilled as: “don’t take the bait.” in Letting Go: the art of Surrender, he talks about thoughts being like bait on a hook, and as soon as you take the bait, that hook is taking you for a ride. and if you make it out, often you’re in an eddy or something – good for getting you off the hook, but still disorienting and not ideal.

Its funny how much i take the bait. and it’s amazing how deeply i appreciate the practices that pull me out of the thought stream when I have taken the bait. or even when i haven’t – but when i don’t, it’s because of these practices. But, boy, i understand how reliant i am on these practices and i am grateful to have them. because NOW really is the best place to be.

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