every choice counts

As I populated Scrivenor with the thousands of little notes about slowing down and waking up and my story and deeper truths, certain things fell into place. One is: slowing down=every breath counts and waking up=every choice counts

another thing that became abundantly obvious is that 15 minutes of stillness and 45 minutes of activity really works for me. i’ve employed it around holidays and times where I know I have a lot to do to keep me from overdoing it. overdoing it can cause ‘being wrecked’ for a day, or it can cause a major flare up (though thankfully i haven’t had one of them for quite some time. August, i think. but i think that’s because I started this policy in the fall. times of stress = 15 min rest every hour.

Hot damn. Turns out I can get a lot done in 45 minutes! Indeed, another thing that came out is that my “Ministry of Stillness” became “Ministry of Stillness & Inspired Activity” Because activity that springs forth from stillness has a lot of power. clarity. flow.

Now I’m even considering upping the game. What if I spend 20 minutes in stillness every hour. and 20 minutes in past-looking activity (admin, editing, cleaning) and 20 minutes in forward-looking activity (planning admin, writing/creating, learning). over the weekend i’d spend 45 minutes cleaning the house and 15 minutes resting, then 45 minutes on this project and then 15 minutes resting. back and forth. over and over, although somtimes a double set of one or the other, too. it happened extremely naturally and effortlessly. when my arms hurt, i’d know this wasn’t the time to clean. just listening and going slowly.

I also had a charged emotional experience, although less charged than those things have gotten me in the past. and i had the uncomfortable feelings these things can bring. and i stayed present to them. and i did my best, which often may or may not have been adequate. But it was fully authentic. I had choices where I could have soothed a situation, but I would have had to say something I didn’t believe. And I opted for staying true even though it clearly and obviously made me a big jerk.

Then, thankfully, I pulled out the book i picked up at the last library visit and put aside until after I finished my project of the weekend. It’s called ‘the clarity cleanse’ and while i’ve only read the preface and intro, it spoke exactly to my soul and my emotional field with a culture that wants you to filter your truth to be acceptable, and how when you are taking responsibility for yourself and your health, you have to take on the openness to be entirely candid about all of it.

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