Some psychic lady on a pier when I was less than 20 said to me: “you can get more done in a day than many could in two weeks. (pause) “you just never know what day it’s going to be!” I liked that little tidbit. I felt it was true, and a funny way to say it.
I have not had many of those days in the last decade. But I’ve started having a couple here and there and I like it very much. Alas, I am noticing that it happens in perhaps direct reverse correlation to my “needing it to be so to be ok.” I’ve gotten quite comfortable with a day’s plans being set in the trash. I am willing to follow my body wherever she leads me, and if she wants stillness, she gets stillness.
She’s also wanting expressing this gospel of slowing down. Of making contact (every breath counts) with stillness the place where we meet our internal teacher.
I have 4 days without my family at home, which is unusual. I have a pipe dream list of things i’d like to get done. i may as well write it out.
Be slow and Listen
Standing and walking with tailbone to floor
Rest 15 min/hour
tai chi, book of truth, meditation
clean the house while re-listening to Claire Zammit’s Feminine Power course
set up files for all projects
transcribe all the little notes in the house into scrivenor
get as much writing as i can towards 30/30/website
So, It would be thrilling to get all of that done, along with good walks with Toffee (which is hard with the tailbone situation, but i’m just going that slow. i should probably also throw the ball for her so she gets some cardio…)
But slowing down is most important. Being slow is the win. Any activity has to stem from that stillness and retreat back into it. Listening to my body and being ready to do nothing, and being ready to do whatever it’s calling out for. Might I blow this whole list and binge watch some show? I can’t imagine I would, but that’s mostly because I don’t know of any shows that I’d like to watch (I wish “the good place” had more episodes, but then again, not having it so may help me focus).
Anyway, for maybe the first time in my life I really mean it: I do not need to “do it” to “check off my list” to be OK. I am OK, and I get more and more OK as I respect the natural flow my body is facilitating if i am listening. All those expectations are directional incentive that “if there is energy, here is something ready to be energized” and if not, I still like the flags in the ground that list represents. We will see what happens.
What happens will be what I prioritize, and that will be very interesting indeed.