failure is sweet, too

I’m reading Byron Katie, “A Thousand Names for Joy” which is about the Tao Te Ching, so between inquiry and tai chi, this book is just right for me right now. Byron Katie is an inspiration, in that full, unrelenting bliss really is that possible all the time. And we have so many stories to keep us out of it. But why? Out of it is pain, in it is bliss. Silly humans. Aren’t we adorable?

it is amazing to me how many different paths we can take. i used to be so curious about *really* famous people in *really* obscure disciplines… you’re talking to a world-class <whatever> and have no idea, you’d never know it, no pomp or circumstance. And then there are the very showy people, “Don’t you know who I am?” kind of privilege that even if you’ve no idea who they are they are sucking all of the life out of a room (or filling it. either way.) Everyone really is God in disguise. And we really all are just walking each other home.

Laughter (or, more laughter) has been my new years resolution for three years running, i think. i noticed a lot of laughter today. that was sweet. finally. because i’ve been pretty much failing at getting more laughter into my life these three years, but i’m so happy i’ve kept up with the aspiration. it’s worth waiting for.

i had another long-held belief literally fall off the cart this week. Let’s put it this way, it had to do with my father’s reactions. my father has been dead for 33 years, so amazing i still had this active, right? But these beliefs stay until we inquire, which usually almost immediately resolves it, though it can take a while. Am I contradicting myself? There are worlds inside me (is that a Thoreau paraphrase? i think so).

Evolving as my primary focus is pretty much stacking the deck because we all evolve – ALL OF LIFE EVOLVES sortof like hearts beat – whether we’re in on it or not. and evolving includes all of the other verticals, career, parenting, partnership, community, all of it. So making it my first priority feels like it sortof guarantees it will happen and that it includes any of my former priorities (I feel a little sneaky, like the “wishing for more wishes” clause). I know being an evolving parent will make me the best parent I can be. and the best community-member, and the kindest spouse. ┬áBut, when I fail, that’s sweet, too. because I’m not branding myself with my failure. it’s simply something that “was” because evolving is always forward-looking, there’s no holding it against myself. it’s just something that happened. Really, evolving as the top priority is remarkably freeing.

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