All the Days

Today has been a low energy day for me. Low physical energy and low mental energy. Lately I’ve had an easier time accessing good thoughts and feelings, but today everything seemed out of reach.

It’s hard to maintain OKness with one’s value in the world when one hasn’t done anything of substance. But, that’s this whole lesson, isn’t it? That our worth and value in this life does not come from accomplishing things, but simply by being. and by being the most authentic self? And so, even on days when I can’t quite make anything happen, I have to be ok with myself. It’s hard, but it’s coming more easily.

I cannot completely quiet the part of my mind that would like to list off all of the reasons people who do not accomplish the many things that are to be done simply suck. I also tell myself the story that I need to be vibrating at the highest frequency available to me, and that a low energy day is irresponsible when I know how deeply the world needs as much love as each of us can muster. It’s a bit of work to remember these are stories, and to simply be.

Speaking of what the world needs…. Holy canoli’s. I watched cable tv for about an hour today. Saw commercials for products and other shows. I hadn’t realized exactly how far we’ve descended. If I was low energy before seeing that, I was crushed energy afterward. I am not much for TV, but between the honey boo boo lady, the ‘made famous by murder’ series that really does make these people (even more) famous, the drugs that cause suicide and depression — seriously, how can a people create a functional society when we are so fascinated watching the train wreck? It was crazy. And depressing. and nauseating. I’m so glad I don’t often watch TV. And then there is the statistic about kids watching several hours per day. Ugh.

So, yeah. Not my best day on many counts, and a really unfortunate window into the culture. But, I am surrounded by kindness and grace, and I may not be able to celebrate it actively today, but I sure can be grateful for it, recognize it, not look for it to improve for me to be ok. I am going to do my evening sitting and go to bed, quiet but appreciative, and see what tomorrow brings.

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