Watching the ordeal that is the political system, I have no choice but to reflect on how the matters of the day relate to my own being. Where am I a pompous blowhard? There are plenty of places. Noticing helps me move into choice. Choice offers me an option, even if I don’t know what it is. I am a person that has spent a lot of time developing a certain level of comfort with the unknown. While I believe it serves me overall, it can be confusing as well.
Children ripped from their parents and put into actual cages. Wow. And we call ourselves civilized. But I have caged some of the most tender, unwanted parts of myself. Prisoners in my psyche I wish I didn’t have to deal with. They are meagerly fed from a system that is hardly optimized and recognizing this, I resolve to treat them better. I resolve to take the disenfranchised parts of myself and give them dignity. Oh, it’s easy to give dignity to my better attributes, the things I feel serve my wellness and the betterment of all. I’d like only those attributes to be citizens in my mind, but that aint the case. There is more. And I need to bring those parts of me into an equitable relationship with the whole. I’m a little scared. I don’t know how to integrate them. They cry and wail and have no place they belong. They just wanted a better life. Can I deliver it?
I’ve been ruminating about the idea that our bodies are of the earth and therefore the earth’s best chance at communicating with us. Our bodies are literally animated earth. That animation is a very interesting aspect, right? That which separates a body from a corpse. That special something that comes in and takes on a body to express and experience as and through. Of course it is going to get a little bit weighed down by the earthiness of our beings. Of course it is going to be burdened by all of the weightier elements. I don’t know if you’ve ever played Wii Boxing, but it looks so easy until you hold the controllers and try to gesticulate like a lunatic and still can’t get the tracking to do what you want. We are subject to our environments. I believe we can transcend them, but there is a process there. It might be lightening fast in certain instances – I don’t want to rule out miracles or grace, both of which I believe in 100% – but in most instances that transcendence is a process and it has a lot to do with fully recognizing one’s power and fully assessing the environment to best manifest that power. My daughter taught me some tricks with Wii. It wasn’t such a hurdle for her. We all can help each other.
I am determined to fully embody that which makes me breathe. In order to do that, it feels like I need to also accept my humanness. My faults and foibles, my mistakes and missteps. I can’t require ideal circumstances or responses. The dynamics that keep universes dancing in the heavens are exactly that – dynamic. Coming to grips with living in a dynamic world requires a whole new ruleset than the determinism I grew up with. Goal setting and achieving. It’s far more immediate than that for me at this point in my life. How am I managing this feeling and this circumstance? In a dynamic world, I can sense into the present experience. I can notice if I’m doing better than last time I experienced this. In a deterministic world, I have to evaluate it based on a picture. I’m out of myself and somewhere in an imagined future.
The only way I am going to get the future I want, where my internal parts are honored, where my gifts work synergistically with my areas for growth. I need to address the parts of myself I currently shun. I need to make room for them. They have value. Indeed, they may have more value than I can imagine. I’ve got to do this if I have any hope of contributing to a world that cares for all its inhabitants.