That’s my goal, right? Be ever-learning. Ever-evolving.
Some days are better than others.
Today is a quantum day. Huge. Tiny, really, But, tiny in the grandest way.
I stand incorrectly. Twenty-some years of yoga, nearly fifty of living, and the way my body balances on my feet has not been in balance. i’ve known this. I’ve gone to many people to try to correct it, to come to understand what it is I’m doing wrong. Today, a key piece fell into place. Restoring the eight harmonies (the joints in relation to each other) is a priority to me. I’ve been out of harmony. It’s been clear. And “trying” to “fix” it a thousand ways. Really, really trying. And so this slowing down thing has been helping me to just show up, be present, don’t be attached to the outcome, do the work. And today I learned that I have been showing up in a collapsing posture (my birth family would disagree, i’m sure). The body has lines of power. It’s how we evolved, are evolving. being in sync with/relaxing into those lines of power brings enormous energy to the body. I’ve been cutting off energy. Clumsily leaking it like a sieve. i’ve been aware of it and trying to stop it, but it’s slow-going. But today, learning balanced stance, all those years of attention all signaled at once “Yes! This is it! Finally!”
How cool is that?
Especially for a girl who people called, “smash” at Meadow Brook Music Festival in 1980something. I’ve not been a graceful girl, despite my best efforts.
That change is beginning. I’m so glad I’m on this road.
Speaking of roads I’m on, I have a little story. Just before I was born, my parents sat my 4 siblings down to tell them they were going to have a little sister named “Libby.” “Oh, No!” they cried, “Libby’s Libby’s Libby’s on the Label Label Label! No! No! No!” Vegetables. Who wants those around? So my parents relented and they agreed on “Lisa.”
I’ve never really enjoyed being named Lisa. It hasn’t bothered me too much. Growing up I thought Libby would have been a more fun name. All my sisters had nice names with good nicknames. But it wasn’t a focal point, and not a name I particularly identify with. Libby isn’t either. Oddly enough, the name I feel most called to is “Lila” which my sister Tracey calls me (though she spells it “Leela”) which in sanskrit means “(divine) play”. Yes, I would like to be, I am, the universe playing.
So that’s a little story about my name, here in this journey of releasing identity.
I really am enjoying this journey of releasing identity. It’s not denying identity or trying to reverse it or turn it into something more acceptable – previous pastimes, all. I feel remarkably privileged to be learning from people like Claire Zammit, Thomas Hübl, Barbara Marx Hubbard, and Paul Selig. This focus on awakening, as an individual and as a species – because we can’t do it *just* as individuals, it must be both simultaneiously, and as we reach to get our collective evolutionary eyes we want to incorporate the most simple, beautiful truths. Like how to stand in your own energy in these brilliant bodies that are already awake and desperately trying to get our attention…
So, I am so excited about what I learned today. It’s actionable, it feels right. It’s another gift of “slowing down” really getting into stillness. but not in a collapsed, resigned way. in a relaxed, powerful way. Our bodies know how to do that naturally! I had no idea! I don’t have to teach it a single thing. I just need to get out of the way, stop these debilitating habits, notice the cues and act on aligning/relaxing.